Fictional News Reporting: Bad News Bears

Bad News Bears

On Saturday, January seventh, the North Valley Youth Baseball League Championship game was played at McFarlane Field in Santa Clara. But the underdog Bears’ near win against the heavily favored Yankees was far from the most interesting part of the story. Fights, arrests, and domestic abuse are but a few of the occurrences at the local game this weekend.

After name-calling banter among the under twelve players, back and forth verbal shots between the coaches, and unsportsmanlike conduct across the board, the game’s first real incident took place right at home-plate. A questionable call by the umpire which led to a Bears player being injured by a Yankee slide into home elicited a wave of reactions among the underdogs. When push came to shove, however, the Bears came to play.

“I could’ve taken all those guys myself,” stated one of the smallest members of the Bears whose name has not been released.

But the game took an even worse turn later on. In an act of defiance by the Yankees’ pitcher to his coach and father, the pitcher threw a deliberate easy pitch to his seemingly arch nemesis because the coach asked him to walk the player, one he had been hoping to strike out since the beginning of the game. In another act of defiance, he held onto ball until the Bear made his way all the way around to home plate.

Roy Turner, the boy’s coach and father, then struck his son and pitcher, causing him to fall to the ground. At the end of the game, Captain Gordon Young of the Santa Clara Police Department gave a press conference on the matter. It was revealed that Roy Turner was arrested, booked, and released on $5,000 bail for the felony charge of aggravated assault.

In another odd turn, it was stated that the Bears coach Morris Buttermaker was cited and released for the misdemeanor crime of drinking in public and another misdemeanor for distribution of alcohol to minors. Several of these said minors were also cited for possession of alcohol but released to their parents.

As one of the biggest games for many of these children’s athletic careers thus far, it became clear that the scoreboard did not determine who lost in this game. While it was arguably one of the most interesting games that took place on McFarlane Field this year, the events that took place during and after the game have made this one of the most questionable as well.

At the end of his press report, Captain Young offered a statement that many at the game must have agreed with, “This is a sad day for our community and baseball.”